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Hear Me Out
Views: 365 · Added: 1024 days ago

Ive read these blogs and this site for a few months but its the first time ive written anything, i just really need to vent and want someone to listen to what im going through. Im in the most complicated situation i can imagine and i dont know how to deal with it. I'm not at all the typical person you'd think youd find on this website. I'm 19 years old, go to a fairly large american university in the midwest, and im part of a top-rated frat at my school. I've considered myself bi since freshman year of high school and sure Ive had a few guy crushes over the years but Ive lived the straightest of straight lives and had numerous crushes on girls. If you knew me you'd never think i was bi or anything, i play sports, party with my boys, flirt up lots of pretty girls, and live in an environment thats not really open to this. I dont even consider myself a super open minded person, to be honest and I dont mean to offend anyone on here im not really a big fan of gay culture and i find flamboyant gay people to be kind of annoying. I have beautiful girls throwing themselves at me on a nightly basis and Ive had sex with double digits in the girl category. Im about 5'10". skinny, blond hair, not to be conceited but i consider myself pretty damn good looking. Never done a thing with a guy. My liking of both guys and girls hadnt turned into a problem i had managed it well up to this point and assumed id grow out of it

My best friend for the last year plus (hes about my size, brown hair, gorgeous eyes, funniest and most charming person ive ever met) Id literally had no feelings for, zero tension whatsoever, id thought he was handsome and what not but he was just my best friend and everything was fine, until last september when we flew down to disney world and i dont know if it was the magical setting or whatever but when we were walking around epcot at night it just clicked for me and it hit me then and there, i was completely in love with my best friend... seriously out of nowhere i went from a completely platonic relationship with him, to being SO sexually attracted to him and completely in love with his personality and everything about him. Since that day its driving me crazy because i know he is straighter than straight, hooks up with girls all the time, makes fun of gay people, etc. Every time he tells me about whatever girl he got with, or ditches me when were at a bar to go hit on girls, it just gets me really sad and depressed. As much as I tell myself i cant be thinking things like this about my best friend and know it to be true everytime im around him if i even look at him or hear someone say his name it sends a shiver through my entire body. Lately its getting to the point that i cant even act like my normal self around him and i cant tell whether or not hes starting to pick up on me acting weird but i feel like he is. I understand that in all likelyhood nothing will ever happen between us, but hes just so charming and lovable and beautiful that every time i see him i fall back in love again... as i said the mere mention of his name sends a chill down my spine, when im waiting for him to respond to text messages (it could literally be about where we wanna go for dinner) i wait with anticipation like im waiting to hear if i won the lottery or not. A month ago we were having a real heart to heart conversation (not anything sexual) and when we were finished we watched on-demand and he just happens to put on an episode of american dad where the football players son comes out to his dad. The whole episode i noticed he kept looking over at me to see how i was reacting. When it ended neither of us said a word i just walked out of his room and was like night man and went home. It's ruining my relationship with my best friend but i cant help it, its just how i feel. Given the social stigma of being in a frat i know i cant just straight up tell my friends how i feel, they would never treat me the same way again, and its not because theyre evil its just the way it goes. Not that they'd even stop being friends with me, thats not the case, I'd just lose my status in their eyes as one of the "guys" and id forever have an asterisk next to my name. My friend already pretty much avoids the handful of outed-kids in the frat like they have a disease.

Im left with two options. I could not say anything and keep going on, but the last week or two its just becoming too much to take i cant go five seconds without thinking of the kid. I cant sleep at night because all i want is for him to be there next to me. All i want is to just hold onto him and tell him exactly how i feel but i know that if i do that he'll probably never want to talk to me again and Ill lose my best friend. It wouldn't just be me telling him im bi, it would be me telling him im in love with him and cant get him off my mind and want him both personally and sexually. Its just hard to come to terms with the fact that hes completely straight because other than sexual stuff, he is perfect. Since the day it all clicked and i realized how i felt about him i really havent had any interest in girls anymore, its pretty much known that i havent done anything with a girl in the last six or seven months. I dont know what to think, I eventually want to grow up and get married to a girl and have a family, but for now I just cant think about anyone but him.

I've never brought any of this up to a soul, not even on the web. I just dont know how to handle this and maybe venting on here will release a bit of stress. Im around him every day and every time it gets more stressful and harder for me to hold back. ill be sittin next to him on my couch watching tv and i have to constantly remind myself i cant just jump on him whenever i want to. I go to bed at night with him on my mind and wake up every morning to the sad realization that it was just a dream and im the only one in my bed. I read the recent blogs on here about guys who were friends with someone for awhile and had a crush on them and they find out that person feels the exact same way, and i get jealous and would give anything for that to be me. Any advice would be great, thanks for listening to my latenight ramblings

:(
Views: 285 · Added: 1024 days ago

any other downers?

GOOD morning!
Views: 159 · Added: 1024 days ago

sex would be great at eye opening wake, what you think?

self suck
Views: 622 · Added: 1024 days ago

who here can suck there own cock?

I am Kind of Pathetic :(
Views: 274 · Added: 1024 days ago

I've been lying here thinking of how my life is right now. I'm starting to get the confidence to come out to close friends and possibly family, but then , I realized. I don't actually have any close friends anymore who I feel I could really trust with something like this. I'm so busy with school that I haven't really made any friends that I could confide in. I mean, I am the president of a club, an editor for the university's newspaper, and I play the saxophone and violin for a few bands on campus, but I haven't taken the time to hang out with any of the people I go to school with. I am friendly with a lot of people, but I still am a bit of a loner. I've come a long way since I was in middle school and high school, but I still have a long way to go. I don't really have anywhere to turn.

summer invite
Views: 189 · Added: 1025 days ago

Seeking young boy or young gay couple to be invited during my vacation in August in Italy in my beach house. of course I pay all

any gays from Los Angeles?
Views: 204 · Added: 1025 days ago

looking for guys in LA.

bi friends
Views: 249 · Added: 1025 days ago

ok so my friend came out and told most people he was bi this year and when he was talking to me i was asking about it long story short i told him i was bi too. im the least likely to be gay or bi person you would think of by looking at me btw so.. like a month later i just about told him i liked him more than just a friend... he dose not feel the same back. but he sends very mixed messages to me a lot of the time. i cant tell if he wants me to bring it up again (its been past most of the year by now) or is he really just likes me as a friend.. like yesterday we were fucking around with other friends and basically dog piling on one of our very straight friend and he felt up my ass. and yes very intentionally. and other times it seems like he wants nothing to do with me or very obviously gos for other girls.

btw, im leaning to the gay side of bi and hes leaning to the straight side

hey
Views: 186 · Added: 1025 days ago

hey guys i was just wondering if there are any guys in the albany area of schenectady new york if there is send me a message please

requests
Views: 169 · Added: 1025 days ago

hi guys,
if u like me to add u as a friend,please say so ob my inbox.
my request feature doesnt work.
thank for your understanding.

Outbox filling up with upload notices
Views: 209 · Added: 1026 days ago

Is there anyway to stop the outbox from filling up with subscriber information when I upload? On preferences I have the email to subscribers turned off. It is a pain to have to keep deleting so my other outbox messages don't get buried.

UPLOADING PROBLEMS AGAIN
Views: 334 · Added: 1026 days ago

After couple of successful days of uploading videos now you have new (?) problem: After uploading video (again over 1 hour to upload) appears UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL but... it's released WITHOUT MY NAME, from ANONYMOUS!!! Same problem before many times. When you fix this??? This is so frustrating...now 2 videos in 1 day. thanks!

friend requests
Views: 191 · Added: 1026 days ago

hi guys,anyone who wants me to add him as a friend send a request please to my inbox.friendrequest does not work.
i have 1853 requests pending and i cant add them.
so sorry guys if i didnt respond on your requests.

DOWNLOADS ARE BACK UP!!!!!!
Views: 295 · Added: 1026 days ago

Thanks Nick. Hay ALL!!!! Downloads are working again. YepEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women That Love Gay Porn
Views: 181 · Added: 1026 days ago

In your opinion guys, how do you REALLY feel about women who love Gay Porn? Are we becoming a nuisance that y'all (I'm from the South lol)just grin and bear it, hoping that we'll eventually go away? Or do you think it's ok. Some of y'all may know and some not, but there's a lot of us lurking in the shadows enjoying man love on sites like this. We think it's hot too. There are some of us who can also get down when it gets down and dirty too. ie bdsm, fisting, felching, piss, pig...excuse me while I clear my head for a second. lol To each his own. I'm not mad atcha. There are communities out there where we woman talk freely about what we love about gay porn, from studios, favorite movies and actors etc. I'm just one female fan who has no problem in saying I love it and have loved it for a long time. The straight porn out there is so tiresome and all that fake moaning and hollering get's on my fair nerves. Makes you wanna say bitch shut the hell up! Now let's get real, there's a lot of that fakeness in gay porn too, but the boys/men are so darn purty. lol Later

WARNING* try this though lol
Views: 175 · Added: 1026 days ago

I'd like to share another solo time I had being intrepid. I was at work in the Wood Forests driving heavy equipment. I was in this Big forwarder with a cab that look like a giant Dome sitting on top of a tank with rubber wheels. My Job was to pick up the wood ¦b The machine was called a Ponnse Buffalo King. So anyway sun was just going down. getting dark & the machine has the lighting setup like a ball field lol I decided to take a redbull reak. Smoked a CIG turned on the radio to Max-104.9FM Then I hit the lights because you can't really see from outside to inside at night with brights in your eyes. started playing with it when I came I just let it shoot out in the dark. This was my 2nd seasonal of work a few years back. The following morning II could find where it shot so I went fueled up. Park it & got out. Lit a CIG staring at the Buffalo King with a smile

about bein out and proud ~ and human too!
Views: 239 · Added: 1026 days ago

so ya im out now. not only about bein queer but no longer ashame of bein an aspie. i been told i should not 'hit people over head' about my autism. well, maybe i have been but maybe i need to clear up. maybe even apologize if misunderstood.

someone talk to me last night and i get thinkin on what they say, that im too out and actin like i want people to feel sorry for me.

that never what im tryin to do.

only talk about aspies/auties for awareness and maybe find one like me here or anywhere and now i have but that is private and we just buddies and im just fine with that.

i am so grateful about what some here done on autism awareness day. still cant believe it all and love you so much from me heart. but for real im only tryin to say to all, especially buddies who feel alone or got problems ~ hey buddies, i got problems and lots of em, but they dont have me! you gotta keep going and do best each day to be be you can no matter what. otherwise, why wake up and i dont mean do something stupid!!!!!

i know depression. it sucks. but one thing is stop thinkin bout how sad you are and reach out to other guys problems. i am no big organization or anything. i can walk to a square and help homeless people and i do all the time. i see the guys there like from the movie 'struggle' and just do what i can. sometimes a hug. sometimes a hamburger or even some smokes. mainly just talkin and not let them feel like they are a nobody. nobody wants to be a nobody.

this compares to like what learnt in one me geek classes meanin puter tech. all this stuff works on zero and one. nobody want to be a zero. everybody want to be one. not much room for those of us who real with ourselves to fit in between. right? pretty damn good compare i say!

so ya, i post like i do cos i want to be your buddy. i want to love you and care about you like i want to be. if more all us do like this, then boys and girls not be killin themselves. i hate hearin it. cant stand it. sometimes mad like 'you have a normal life i want and you destroy it?!' but for real me heart hurts so bad, cos theyre not here for me to be buddy to them and i dont care about if boy or girl or sexuality.

but im only one person and i know i have issues especially the social ones. so please anybody who seen me posts and all, i never do it for pity. dont want pity and i mean never. it makes me mad when people think or say like i am 'less human' cos its just not true. even when a boy and i could not even look at me mum let alone talk, i was there. i was 'in there'. i could see just not understand how to react.

lots of gay guys i met feel like theyre on the wrong planet some time. that is actually site for aspies/auties at wrongplanet.net! but im not a robot with no feelins. not spock from star trek. this why i come out like i did here. to be honest and open and say dont be scared of me, cos i process things different. that is about awareness not feel sorry for me cos me brain works a different way.

just think like it apple or windows. different os but still work ok just different. that can also be used on sexuality i think, not to separate but just be ok that all peeps are different, kinda like what said on opening of little people real world. they been made to feel 'shame' and tell me you never been made to feel shame cos of sexuality?! lol! come on!

im not ashamed of aspergers or autism no. im blessed to have grown out of most things in havin it. im blessed even more than me best docs and care givers, cos they cant look at a severe or mod aspie or autie like me and connect and the say so to me. even when one cant talk or seem not there, i can understand, 'talk' through eyes and they know it. 7 like me or worse 3 of em now tell 'i remember and i never forget it' wow! so me feel sorry for me? its like now i get why i am like this. like when me dad tell me 'GOD have special reason' when i ask why HE make me this way. we all have purpose and were all human include natural urges why i come here lol! not bein all holy here cos im sure not!

so ya like i am feelin so free. i always have dreams and they even bigger after this great weekend with family. hey, we messed up like most families but laugh about it even when hard to. your life seem so messed up? your not alone. we all the same. all have problems. all feel alone and sad some time. but if you are there now or tomorrow, just think of me and ill be thinkin of you and dont even try to leave this life cos why? someone who never met says he will be your buddy. he will care and love all he can. churches be full if they more like the one i learnt that from. most of those places HE been tryin to get in for long time. so just look for hope, joy and love. i promise to do all i can to get you there.

you have hugs and heart love right now!

i am billy. i am your buddy.

thanks guys
Views: 174 · Added: 1027 days ago

thank you for fixing the download xx

Sexual and physical abuse of children is not as uncommon as we might wish to think. There are no reliable statistics because so often the abused child is too afraid and too ashamed to report it.

Recovery from sexual and physical abuse is usually a slow process. It involves therapy and being around people who truly care about you. It also helps to have friends who understand what you're going through and who will listen, give you sincere advice and let you know that you are not alone.

If you have been abused as a child or know someone who has, please seek help. I have added the following links which provide lots of facts and ways of getting help.

http://www.stopitnow.org/
http://www.againstsexualabuse.org/index.html
http://childmolestationprevention.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abuse
http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-sexual-abuse.htm

[and from usainindia]
http://www.childhelpusa.org/ http://www.ispcan.org/
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.shtml

So You Met A Nice "Boy" Online...?
Views: 348 · Added: 1027 days ago

Man coerced boys to perform sex acts via Internet video, FBI says - CNN.com
From Jake Carpenter , CNN
2012-04-09T20:48:55Z CNN.com

(CNN) -- An Indiana man allegedly blackmailed teenaged boys into being his camera "slaves" by threatening to post
their videos on gay porn websites, a criminal complaint said.
Richard Leon Finkbiner, 39, admitted during an interrogation to victimizing at least 100 people, mostly boys 14 to
16 years old, an FBI agent said in a sworn affidavit made public Monday.
"You want to play this game, or you want to be a gay porn star?" Finkbiner allegedly told one victim when he
demanded that he perform sex acts during a video Skype call, the federal complaint said.
"These victims go into chat rooms, develop a relationship and conversation with someone," Horty said. Finkbiner
would then capture uncoerced video of the boys, who probably did not know they were talking to a 39-year-old man,
he said.
Finkbiner would then e-mail them a link to their own video with the threat to publish it on gay porn sites if they did
not agree to become his "cam slave."
The boy "became emotional and hysterical, and disclosed to his brother what was happening," Barrett said. The
brother told their parents, who then contacted the Oakland County, Michigan, Sheriff's Department, he said.
An investigator tracked the e-mail address and Skype account to Finkbiner in Indiana, the agent said.
A search of his e-mail revealed instances in which one boy begged Finkbiner to leave him alone: "I'm only a kid and
this is against the law so please stop doing this I beg you," the boy wrote.
If convicted on the initial charges, Finkbiner faces a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison. He is scheduled to
appear before a federal judge in Terre Haute, Indiana, on Wednesday.
"Our advice is never friend an individual that you don't know personally," Horty said. "Parents have to know who
their children are communicating with on the Internet."
© 2012 Cable News Network. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Red Heads/Gingers
Views: 593 · Added: 1027 days ago

Anyone know any cute red headed twinks?

Subscriber Notifications
Views: 142 · Added: 1027 days ago

When receiving subscriber notifications; Would any one else like to also know what the upload is (title,etc?). Every notification, I look and never see this members upload? Nick is this something that could be added as a new add (to GBT). It would be better if you could click on the message and it would take you directly to that upload. How do the other members feel?

parle vous le francai
Views: 158 · Added: 1027 days ago

je cherche des mec comme moi qui aime les jeuns 18 es - jaime la beaute de leur corp voir lage de la puberte es qui save qui sons gay je compren que le francai mersi de vous fair connetre ( saroule ) super ce cite

warning* do NOT ATTEMPT.
Views: 217 · Added: 1027 days ago

Just thought I'd share a sort of extreme & intrepid move I had pulled of on a drive home from Nova Scotia. speedometer was clocking about 100-120kmph I decided to whip it out (I was alone) & play with it. drove maintaining the decent speed I was already cruising until I came. rolled the window down ,lit a CIG & smiled.

download video option?
Views: 656 · Added: 1027 days ago

Hey all. I remember a few weeks ago there was a download option for the vids on here... did the link get removed? or where is it? I swear i saw it once and i can't seem to find it :)

thx!

DOWNLOAD
Views: 213 · Added: 1027 days ago

GO TO MOBILE THEN CLICK ON VIDEO YOU WANT. WHERE IT SAYS NOT PLAYING CLICK HERE, RIGHT CLICK ON THAT AND THEN SAVE TARGET AS. IT WILL SAVE IN COMPUTER VIDEO AS WINDOW MEDIA PLAY FILE. I HOPE ONES UNDERSTANDS WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY. GOOD LUCK.

Please sign petition for equality - Star Wars
Views: 193 · Added: 1027 days ago

Electronic Arts (EA) -- one of the largest video game makers in the world - is the target of a hateful boycott campaign. Why? Because they gave players the option to include a gay romance story in one of their most popular games: Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Anti-gay letters are flooding Electronic Arts headquarters, calling for a boycott. Without our help the company, its staff and more than 100 million registered players could be pushed to the dark side if the forces of hate get the last word.

Master Yoda wants to make sure Electronic Arts knows anti-gay haters don't win the game. Add your name to Yoda's letter urging the company to stay away from the dark side. Yoda himself will deliver the message directly to the headquarters of Electronics Arts in Redwood City, California.

Please take a moment and sign the petition at: allout.org/theforce

Answer please admin
Views: 365 · Added: 1028 days ago

I have had 2 blogs deleted, can you tell me why?

Game of Thrones
Views: 205 · Added: 1028 days ago

I'd toss it in that dwarf in a New York minute!

I now that there were problems with the server. But every hour I see new vids added and listed. Since end of March I uploaded several vids, some were accepted, some rejected by server. But I don't see my vids listed ( those accepted) I wrote next pm to Nick, but again no answer. I am wondering that I am blacklisted here.
And still can't understand why I see lot of new vids listed and my are ignored.
It does not seems to me as server problems. Can anybody tell me what is going on ?

Up late, Can't sleep
Views: 536 · Added: 1028 days ago

As I lie here at 1:30 in the morning, I can't help but think about my life. I am a gay teen. In my 19 years on this planet, I've only told one person my deepest, darkest secret, and I am absolutely terrified to tell everybody else in my life. I long to find a nice guy with whom I can cuddle when I feel depressed, who I can spoil and tell how much I love him, but I fear my family's reaction. I mean, I feel like my parents would handle it well since they seem to already have a hunch that I'm gay, but my siblings, two of whom I think I have a pretty strong relationship with, may not take it as well. I'm thinking especially of my oldest brother. He comes off to me as probably one of the most bigoted homophobes on the face of this Earth. I've heard him say many occasions that gay people should all die. He is one of the people George Takei (One of my heroes)would call a complete and total "douche-bag," and as much as I hate to say it, I don't know that I can disagree. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but I've seen him snap over far lesser things and beat the crap out of someone for no apparent reason. I can only imagine what he would do to me. Luckily though, he lives in a different state, so if I wanted to tell my parents, he wouldn't be here. however, the real problem is that my Mom is the kind of person who can't keep a secret, si I fear she would end up telling him anyway. I don't know what to do.

For Admin UPLOADING???
Views: 119 · Added: 1028 days ago

Twice I have uploaded photos in photo album in the last two days from my private stash but nothing. but when i upload pic's from picture that i personally have taken like the boat drag race those pop up. the pictures are from what i have found from all over the net. Are you guys still working on the system?????

wanting someone
Views: 323 · Added: 1028 days ago

i hate when you know someone and like them but cant say anything to them anyone else have this problem

anyone in the online live cam chat
Views: 165 · Added: 1028 days ago

if anyone is in the live cam chat room and wants to have a wank i am their right now




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